The Universe will Find a Way

And the Best Actress Award goes to.. Tentereren.. Oops gising gising!

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Before taking a bath I sometimes do monologues. I cry and spill out words as if cameras are really there, uhm inside the bathroom ? Haha! You know the usual act when you burst out in tears while you're angry at someone? That's my favorite scene to do. And no kahit nasa banyo ako, I don't do the "ang dumi-dumi ko" habang nakaupo sa lapag at nakadamit pa with matching kuskos sa braso acting. Not my theng  Sometimes I even do it when I'm off somewhere. Kunwari nainis ako sa katabi ko sa jeep, iniimagine ko kung ano gagawin ko and it somehow shows in my facial expression. I just can't help it. Is it just me?? Am I that weird?

Fan girls are not just followers of their idols. They dream to be like them as well. Me, personally I want to star in MMK (kahit isang episode lang direk!) and when I do, I'll make sure that even the director will drop a tear. Not because of my bad acting but because he'll feel as if it's real. Yes, that's how confident I am in my mind, wishing that it'll translate into reality. I don't know if I'll have the courage to submit an audition video to star magic because I'm hoping for my dream to happen the way I planned it. Yung ma-didiscover nalang ako, hindi yung ipipilit ko sarili ko sa kanila. Pasintabi sa mga nagpass ng video, sariling pananaw ko lang po 'yon. Peace.

According to the documentary "The Secret" not all that you dream of is what you really want. You'll know it when you feel good about it and then the universe will do the rest to help you achieve it. That's how law of attraction can take effect. Well, some things are better said than done. Ang hirap kaya, I tried it but I still don't know If I'm feeling the "good feeling" they're talking about. O baka hindi lang para sa akin ang pag-aartista? Hayaan ko nalang daw na sa banyo ako umarte haha.

I am in constant search of tips or ways to achieve my goal. The documentary that Te recommended to me is very enlightening and encouraging, that is the aforementioned. It has been helpful to me and I know It will be the same to you. I don't have actual proof that it is effective, i'm still practicing the law of attraction. I'll update this post when one of my dreams come true. It might take a year or a decade but still, it will happen. I believe it will. Positive Vibes.

♥,




•••

And im back! Kaloka guys, wala pang 24hrs pero parang may ginawa na ang universe para sa akin! It's not about being an artista ah, pero I got to feel how it is to be famous! Well, sort of. I tweeted (what is the past tense of tweet?) a drawing of mine and tagged Anne Curtis and Ramon Bautista. I wasn't expecting either of them to respond or notice it so i logged off for a while and when I returned, BOOM! Ang haba haba ng hair kooo!

I got instant followers! (20 plus lang, hindi naman ganun karami) And, there are peepz who commended my work. I feel so appreciated. :')

Special thanks to you all and to the gorgeous Anne Curtis Smith :D Please do not unfollow me guys haha! Love love!

See my tweet here.

Aftershock

Left these cookies at Fort's dorm last night...

(photo courtesy of Sugar Stop)

Note: Naka-box siya nung iniwan ko sa guard haha

I had it made last Sunday. "Goodbye dignityyyyy", I told my friend. "Last na 'to ah", she said.

It was quarter to 10pm. Kinakabahan ako ng bongga pagkababa ng jeep sa Lacson hanggang sa paglakad papunta ng dorm nila.

I knew he's not there, (the wonders of social media --  stalking galore.) the nervousness comes from the idea that "I'm really doing this, wala nang bawian."

Big deal e noh haha. Well for someone who went through major self-esteem issues, it is. :)) Leaving gifts  at someone's place gives you that major fan label. If not "adik" or "stalker". Hehe

He thanked me this morning through this tweet. Surprise surprise, di lang pala ko yung nagbigay/nag-iwan. This is when it hurts, when you finally realize that you're just one of them girls. 

"Isipin mong mabuti kung anong mabuting nagagawa nito sayo.", Tep once said to me. 

Puyat ako lagi kakastalk.

Hindi na ko dapat nagpupuyat dahil bawal ma-late at nagiging unproductive lang sa work.

Finals week din namin ngayon, wala pang nasusubmit at puro Fort inaatupag ko.
Effort.
Gastos. 

But I was really happy.
And it makes everything worth it. Sometimes.

Perks of being a fangirl:
1. You're constantly kilig. Cute pictures, witty posts... haay
2. Para ka nading may boyfriend, sans clingy-ness and emotional drama.
3. May "love outlet". You know those moments when you just want to hug somebody, or shout to the world how much you love someone? (ako lang ba yun, weird ko ba? :/) I can always say "I love you Fortuna!" with matching halik sa picture niya just because. 

But the thing is, it's all i-m-a-ginaaary.
And something or someone can always prick your bubble and get you back to reality.

This is always the deal here right? 
You/I should always be reminded of our limits as a fan.
Just get enough for inspiration but not too much that it takes over your life.

Now I'm going back to reality first so I can also fulfill my other dreams.
Au revoir, Jeric Fortuna. This has been a lovely dream.

Taray fumefrench pa haha. Happy birthday on the 25th :)

♥,
Te

Fortuna

For two days.

Autograph, check!
Picture, check!
Hug, check!
Kiss, check!

Siya nalang kulang. Joke! Peace to the fellow Fort Ladies out there! :))

I just never felt so blissfully happy in my entire life! O.A eh noh. Pero ang saya ko lang talaga promise. Yung feeling na wow, mahal pa rin pala talaga ako ni Lord despite everything. :))

Tep's post was about Sunday's game. We got complimentary tickets for the following game yesterday. Heedless to say, we gave in to the temptation and succumbed ourselves to fangirling again. :))

I don't know why pero nakakatamad pala talagang magkwento in detail. :)) Basta nanood kami. Day 1: We had a photo op with Coach Pido with autograph signing sa aking lumang uniform, then Tep with Jeron. Met our new found friend "Kuya" na family friend ng mga Teng. We took pictures with the Jerics after na ng game. Day 2: Humabol lang kami parehas. Tep arrived during half time, ako last quarter na. We waited with the throng of fans outside the arena to take pictures with them again. Hindi pwedeng wala, sayang pamasahe! Charot :)) We noticed na laging huling lumalabas ang mga Jeric, lalo tuloy nasasabik ang mga fans. Randomly overheard this conversation: Ate1: "Antagal naman nila!", Ate2: "Hayaan mo na baka nagpapabango pa! Ayaw mo nun mabango sila?"

Landi lang nating lahat! Hahahaha

Madami pang masasayang nangyari gaya ng brief conversation namin nila Tep and Uncle Alvin Teng. It adds up to the happiness dahil surreal na talaga na nakausap namin sila gayong pinag-uusapan lang namin sila dati.

Though on a bit serious note, "To whom much is given, much is expected in return." I am in awe of everyone we took pictures with. Lalo na kila Fort. Yung tipong pagod na sila after the game, pero kailangan pa rin mag-entertain ng fans. Smile smile smile. Sign sign sign. Talk talk talk.

All because the fans spent their time and effort to watch the game and support the team. Is it really worth it?  Lalo na pag sobrang demanding ng fans? I was thinking of these while staring at him from afar, waiting for  my Kodak moment.

(Note to Tep: Akalain mong nakakapag-isip pa tayo ng mga bagay bagay kagabi hahaha)

Pero yun nga.. It makes me want to love him more. To reciprocate his generosity with his fans. Di nakakagulat na halos everyday may regalo siyang nakukuha. At hindi malayong isa nako sa mga magbibigay sa susunod. Abangan! Haha

I also thought about moving on... Of not wanting to dive deeper into this ocean of feelings any more pero kasi... I don't want to deny myself of this kind of happiness. Basta tanggap ko sa sarili ko na hindi magiging kami at hindi aasa na maging more than fan or friend, okay na ko siguro doon... And again, just like cigarettes, we have to do this moderately. Ok sige na nga lie low muna sa panunuod ng games. Pero kasi... #FanGirlProblems

Ganito nalang muna for now. :))

♥,

Te

Jeric&Jeron Teng

Yesterday was so unreal! I'd be happy to die just then and there, that's how good it was. I hate it.

Why?
Well, te came across fortuna's tweet re: their game vs letran and asked me if i wanted to go. Eh medyo 'di naman na ako ganun ka-fan girl nila teng nun so ok lang pumunta ok lang hindi. Tapos kinabukasan nakita ko tweet ni jeron na pupunta din siya! Talk about hitTENG 2 birds with one stone huh. So, ano pa nga ba, ang mga hoping lalong nagpa-hoping. We arrived at the arena around 2-3pm and saw coach pido, jeron, teng's fam (what a lovely family they have) and ferrer. Ayun nung nagstart na yung game mukha akong ewan na pinapanuod ang pawis ni Jeric sa biceps haha sorry, yun talaga tinitignan ko, madalas kasi nakatalikod siya sa amin. Parang ang kintab kasi tapos kita mo yung bawat galaw ng muscle niya sa simpleng galaw ng kamay niya. I cannot find the right words to describe it in the most beautiful and artistic way but I think you get the picture. Naaalala ko tuloy! Kasi naman, sa lalaking pawisan bakit mukha pa rin siyang mabango, parang bagong ligo lang, at yung siko ang puti! Grabe, napapangiti ako ngayon haha mukhang ewan. After the game inabangan na namin sila and and AND heaven!! I will not go into deets with that, I'm sure te will blog about it anyway. So ayun, haha I'm having a hard time writing this, yung parang gising na gising ako tapos gusto ko ngumiti, tumawa, sumayaw, kumanta, maglaba, mamalantsa, haha joke lang.

I'm happy and sad at the same time.
Happy because I never thought that I could really see him/ them in person. Parang hard to reach lang talaga e noh. Plus, I even got to have my picture taken with them.
But what's sad about it is that I have to go through the stage of reverse bittering. Again. And I have to unfollow them in twitter. Again. And set my acct to private. Again. And I have to live life knowing that there will never be "us". Again. :'(

Alam ko na ito yung tipong babalikan mo tapos matatawa ka nalang sa mga pinagsasabi mo pero ewan. Haha. Kinailangan ko lang ibuhos 'tong sayang nararamdaman ko at nang mabawasan.

Please Lord, help me forget. I don't want to move on but I have to, I must!

P.S.
We watched their game the day after, naloka naman ako kay te todo build up sa akin haha. Nagpapic kasi kami sa dad nila jeric sabi ba naman ni te "crush niya po yung anak niyong dalawa" & "ang ganda niya po 'di ba po". I didn't know what to do so I just kept on laughing ang shying away from them haha peg na peg ko na talaga ang hs girl. Sana lang 'di ko na sila makita ulit in person haha wala na akong mukhang maihaharap, though I doubt they'll remember me. And infairness, 'di na ako ganun ka-kilig compared to day 1, thank you Lord!

Music and Lyrics

Impromptu composition haha
Lyrics from Tep. (See previous post)
Melody from me. Balang araw malalapatan din 'to ng tamang tugtog :))



♥,
Te

Sleepless Dreamer

The day I love the most,
Is when we're together.
To see your face that close,
I know you're mine forever.

The day I love the most,
Is when you held my hand.
To feel a heavenly dose,
I know this is not the end.

The day I love the most,
Is when you said you love me.
To hear the greatest line composed,
I know with you i will always be.

But the day I'll hate the most,
Is when I wake up from this dream.
Shatter my fantasy to a close,
And realize that life isn't as beautiful as it seems.


♥,

Surprise

Updates, updates! ♥ :)

[click photo to enlarge]

PINANSIN NA KO NI FORT SA TWITTER HURRAY! :))
[actual tweet here]

Things I've learned from this experience:
1. Timing is everything.
2. God will give you what you want but He has to see you working. (sa mga desperada na, konting effort pa, kaya natin yan mga girl! Habang may buhay may pag-asa. If there's a will there's a way. Fight lang ng fight!!!)
3. Don't let the happy feeling wear off. Even days after days after days after that moment. ♥

Hay. :)

This as you can see, happened on November 5, 2 days ago. May isa pakong pasabog my friend!!! Nakita ko siya in the flesh the day after!!!

Sorry sobrang kilig, pero kasi... magkasunod na encounter lang!

Kung titingnan mo ang nakaraan kong post, nasa panaginip ko lang siya noon, hoping and wishing and stalking.. Tapos biglang ganitooo. Pakiramdam ko nakita ko si Santa Claus at may bonus pang regalo :(( 

Hindi naman masamang humiling pa di ba, isang hug at picture na kasama siya Lord, please, or if it's not too much sana magmeet talaga kami at maging friends :)) #WalangImposible

I've been stalking other Fortuna fans too you know.. Nadarama ko na ngayon yung nakkwento nila na feeling kung gaano sila kasaya at kakilig nung makita nila si Fort.. :)

Nanlamig ako teh! Nakakamangha na nakakakilig na tila di makatotohanan. Labo ba? Hanap ka nadin ng celebrity crush para ma-feel mo din dali! :))

This has been what I've always wanted to feel by fangirling. Yung tamang masaya lang lagi... Gaya ngayong araw. Today has really really reaaally been a bad day. Pero kebs! Maisip ko lang yung happy moment na 'to with Fort, happy na uli ako ♥ Ay grabe thank you talaga! :*


♥,
Te

P.S. The Tin Salonga story I mentioned on another previous post may not be real after all :(  (Reason why.) Hay girl, wag naman ganyan. :|

One Click Too Many

Haven't been inspired for a while.. Maybe it's because I don't have that fan girl spirit anymore. Good thing I ate nachos! Good food to get me in the mood!

•••

Excuse me!


Pwedeng magpapicture?

A true fan girl surely has done this once or twice, or more than your finger could count. Syempre bakit ka naman mahihiya eh 'di ka naman niya kilala 'di ba? Minsan lang magkaroon ng pagkakataon, sulitin na.

I remember this instance when I got the chance to be in the same restroom as Ms. Bella Flores (haha natawa ako sa tinype ko, malamang lang parehas kaming babae eh). I waited for her to finish her business just to have my picture taken with her. As in sa loob pa rin ng cr ako nagpapic. Kapal ko lang. I'm not really her fan per se but I adore her and I know how talented she is so I grabbed the opportunity.


With that simple papicture, maraming tanong na ang nabuo sa isip ko.

Ano kaya inisip niya tungkol sa akin after ko magpapic?
Pinag-usapan kaya nila ako? O deadma?

Bakit ba kasi hindi nalang ako naging sikat?
Bakit ba kasi hindi ako nadidiscover ni Kuya Germs?
Bakit ba hindi ko nakikita sa personal yung idol ko?

At bakit ba yung iba pagnagpapic sa artista i-popost na agad sa social media accts nila
na may caption: 'with a friend of mine'? Oops, ako pala 'yon.


Minsan tuloy iisipin mo na paano kaya kung artista ka din? Or kaibigan or anak ng artista. Ano kaya feeling?

There are just too many why's and what ifs that we encounter in our lives that sometimes it ends up with: Lord, why?

Ang simpleng sagot: Bakit ba wala kang ginawa para makamit 'yon? O baka naman hindi PA panahon (hopia!). Just think about it, maybe you won't be the same as you are now if you're to be famous. Malay mo kung naging sikat ka pala e magiging mayabang at matapobre ka (yaya, nilalamig ako. Sunugin ang mga alipin!). .

Parehas lang naman tayong tao pero we tend to perceive them (mga artista) as a higher form of species. Species talaga. Tao din naman sila, umuutot din at pinipitik ang kulangot sa kawalan.


Remember that we are handed two options in life (in my own personal opinion), that is to accept or to take action. And the only question that you should ask yourself is which to choose.

Friendly Reminder: do not encourage yourself asking God the reason behind why you're not Mario Maurer's girlfriend or why you're not the one they've discovered on youtube. We must never question His destined life for us. He knows better.


Here's a list of peepz I must get a picture with before I die (local lang para mas realistic):

•Ramon Bautista (with matching lipps candy)
•Vic Sotto and Joey de Leon
•Vice Ganda
•John Lloyd
•Kuya boy (para masabi kong hindi kuya boy, ikaw na)
•Sir Chief/ Papa Chen

♥,

P.S. Napanuod niyo ba GGV kagabi? Grabe Mario Maurer! Please choose meeee!

Tadhana

Exhibit A:
Went to UST the other day (Oct. 30), hoping to see Fortuna and to meet up with an old friend as well. Supposedly, may plans din dapat na magmovie (most likely sa Shang o sa Mega) or maghalloween lakwatsa/overnight. Plans plans. I chose UST over everything.

When I got home, nakita ko sa tweet ni Fort, "Skyfall.. #shang"

<||3


Exhibit B:
May plan mag-Rob Magnolia mamayang hapon. (Also hoping to get a Fortuna sighting there) But apparently, galing na pala doon sila Fort kahapon.

Bumalik sana uli sila mamaya. Araw araw nalang mag-mmall? Huhu.

*

"Great things happen when you least expect them." This should be my mantra. Cliché, but it's way better than trying so hard and failing to make things happen.

I'm not crazy anymore! Haha I just want to meet him so my life can be complete. :))

[credits]

♥,

Te